Diary of a Mad Editor

Posts Tagged ‘novels’

I Could Write a Country & Western Song Called, “Blank Stares ‘N’ Blank Pages Cryin’ in My Beer”

Yesterday, while warming-up before doing my exercises, I was watching a little bit of that game show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? What the hell, I thought. I don’t much care for game shows, but I like trivia. I’ll play along for awhile. Well, this guy went out on what should’ve been a fairly easy question — I mean even if he hadn’t read the book, he should have at least heard of it before. It’s a pretty famous novel. Anyhow, the question was: Actor Jude Law was named after a Beatles song and a novel by what author? Four English novelists were listed. The correct answer, of course, was Thomas Hardy, who wrote Jude the Obscure. You know: Hey,Jude (the Beatles song) + Jude the Obscure = Jude Law. Now I understand how the guy might never have read the book, but how does a college-educated person in the United States go through their entire life without ever hearing about Jude the Obscure and the fact that Thomas Hardy wrote it? Am I completely mental for thinking that he should know of the book? But, no . . . he says, “Joseph Conrad.” You human buttcrack, you used up all your lifelines, so if you honestly don’t know Joseph Conrad’s writing from Hardy’s, walk the fuck away! Don’t guess.

I’m thinking about this afterwards. Thinking and stewing about it. Nothing to me that the guy loses money, but what does this say about Americans? Do you realize that right now nearly half of the U.S. population is considered to be functionally illiterate? Doesn’t that scare the piss out of you? It sure as shit scares fuck out of me. Think about it for a minute? We are still technically the top dog among industrialized nations, yet our literacy rates are in a tail spin. Is it any wonder we elect a primate to run the country and are off fighting ill-conceived wars around the world? People this stupid have access to guns, rockets and nuclear weapons and we’re worried about Osama Bin Laden? Oh man, we are so fucked.