Character and Contradiction
Published June 11th, 2010 | 
I had this friend back in high school. He had this face . . . well, he had acne real bad — the kind of face the best acne treatments in the world couldn’t fix. Looked like a burn victim it was so bad. People used to call him “Freddie Kruger”. The thing about this guy is that he was the nicest person, I’ve ever met. Didn’t have an unkind thing to say about anyone. Wasn’t resentful. He was upbeat. It was this dichotomy between his physical appearance and personality that made him memorable. I can’t remember most of the people I went to school with, but after 25 years, I still remember Joe. Which brings me to the point of this post: creating characters. When you write a story, it’s far less important to create a likeable character than it is to create a memorable one. Regardless of whether or not your characters are morally correct or not, they should be more than one-note. People are complicated and never just one thing. Conflict and contradiction makes characters interesting. Also, as my little trip down memory lane should prove, You should never automatically judge a book by its cover.
Elsewhere
Published May 1st, 2010 | Harry and his girlfriend Janey were driving down the highway in their Ford Explorer, when the engine began to overheat and a big plume of white smoke sputtered out of the exhaust.
"Jesus Christ, Harry. I tole ya we shoulda stopped at that garage a while back."
“Will ya cool your Jets? There’s a garage just ahead.”
They entered a town called Elsewhere. How they’d gotten there Harry wasn’t certain. He didn’t even remember getting off of the Interstate. But there was a rusty sign just ahead: Los Angeles auto repair. Harry found the garage just up the road. A tall man with an unruly beard and droopy eye came out to greet them.
“What seems to be the trouble, folks?”
“Don’t know. Maybe you can tell us,” Harry said.
Janey winced at the sight of the man.
“Well, you step out of the car and let’s have a look.”
“Is this going to take long?” Janey asked.
“It’ll take as long as it takes. They’s a diner up ahead ‘bout a half a mile if you all’s hungry.”
Janey glared at him impatiently.
Harry grabbed her arm. “Thank you. That sounds like a good idea. By the way, what do you think’s the problem? Nothing serious, I hope.”
The man shrugged. “Could be the head gasket, if you’re lucky.”
Harry and Janey started walking toward the diner. After they were out of sight, another, smaller man came out of the garage. “New people. Is that right, Horace?”
Horace grinned. “More of ‘em comin’ every day.”
“How long you think they stayin’?”
“Stayin’ a spell, I reckon. Nobody ever really leaves this place anyways.”
Writing Prompt #11: At the Car Mall
Published April 29th, 2010 | It’s been a while. Thought maybe it was time for another writing prompt to work some of the cobwebs out of your brains:
Carly stood in the sales lot of Big Ron’s Super-Duper Car Mall, leaning over, exposing her long, shapely and tanned legs. Seeing the honda pilot price, she sighed and moved on down the line. She didn’t like the pilot. Too common. And even though she liked the mazda cx-7 price, Carly was single and didn’t see the need for an SUV. She liked the Mercedes. It was elegant enough. Then, a moment later, upon viewing the mercedes benz cls price, she changed her mind. A Mercedes is so ten years ago, she mused. What I really want, she thought, is something sporty maybe something in a hybrid. Carly studied the tesla price with great interest. As she was bent over the hood of the Tesla, Big Ron, himself, approached her . . .
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to finish this story. You must choose to write the story in one of the following three ways:
Humorous slapstick, satire, witty banter, whatever you think makes for a funny story.
Science Fiction Is Ron an android? Maybe Carly’s is a face-eating alien. Maybe the car mall is located on an asteroid. Or maybe its all a computer simulation. Whatever trips your hardwire.
Erotic: Maybe there’s a reason they call Big Ron big. Maybe Carly’s a tranny. Softcore or hardcore. Be graphic or be subtle, but be as descriptive as you can. Whatever gets you wet.
