Diary of a Mad Editor

Archive for the ‘short stories’ Category

Are You Writing a Dictionary or a Short Story?

I’m a simple guy and I tend to prefer writing that is direct, economical that doesn’t require more of my attention span than writers earn by virtue of their talent. 

So when I read a story in which the characters are woefully underdeveloped and the prose is wooden yet painfully overwritten with lots and lots of three-dollar words, I cringe and breakout into  a cold sweat.  You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Using ten words where five will do or writing something a general audience might not understand without consulting a dictionary like “Plantar Fasciitis” instead of saying “foot inflammation” or “heel spur”.

There might actually be an occasion in a story or poem where using a big, fancy word or some jargon might work and be absolutely necessary — but the key word here is necessary.  If your prose/poetry is otherwise un-engaging and is laced with cumbersome vocabulary, then you risk making your writing read like an SAT exam instead of what you intended. 

The trick is to find a balance. Ask yourself why you are using so many big, fat hairy words. Is there no better word choice available or are you just insecure and trying too hard to show everyone how smart you are?

If it’s the latter, keep in mind when you submit something to a literary publication, you are not writing to impress your high school English teacher and you’re not involved in a 5th grade spelling bee (which is not to say you shouldn’t know how to spell).  I’ve yet to meet an editor who’ll accept a story based on the size of a writer’s vocabulary.

Writing Prompt: This is What Cosmetic Surgery Was Designed For

Write a short story about a female character who looks something like the woman in the above picture. Use the picture as your inspiration.

Obviously, she’s not a physically attractive woman. I don’t want to be mean, but for the sake of this exercise let’s be brutally honest, shall we? The woman looks like fifty miles of bad road.  Bad skin.  Bad hair.  Her face is a train wreck.  It’s hard to tell just from a photo, but one breast looks bigger than the other, so she could probably benefit from  a breast reduction procedure to even it out. Anyway, what makes this woman seem even more unattractive is the way she presents herself in this picture.  She’s wearing that shirt with the slogan: "You can’t afford me!" Her posture and body language suggests that she’s incredibly vain and is completely oblivious to how odious she is.

So you have this character to start with — a woman who is possibly as unattractive on the inside as she is on the outside.  Someone who maybe is not very nice to others.  Who thinks she’s all that and a bag of chips.  What happens to her in the story? Does she get her comeuppance? Does she transform into a better person? Is she really a better person than the picture suggests? Maybe she’s a truly nice person, kind and fun-loving and has lots of friends. What does she do for a living? Is she a truck-stop hooker or barmaid? Maybe she’s school teacher by day? Maybe she’s a meth addict or her husband beats her.

There are any number of things you can do with this character. The point is to learn to use your imagination, project and be inspired by any stranger you’d pass on the street. To be able to extrapolate based on limited information. Get to work.

Just Like the Good Old Days

Summer camp is one of those rites of passage many children go through — the subject of horror films, coming-of-age tales and humorous folk songs. I, myself, went to summer camp back in the day. My parents couldn’t afford it, but my Dad was quite the pool hustler and won the money at the billiards tables to send me for a couple of weeks each summer until I turned thirteen. Maybe it’s because of the cold weather (or despite it) but I’m finding myself feeling a little nostalgic for those good old days of swimming and canoeing in a lake and ditching arts and crafts to play card games over at the picnic pavillion (and who can forget raiding the girl’s dressing room). Yes, those were there days!
Anyway, it’s inspired me to come up with this little writing prompt for the creatively constipated:

Imagine two characters in a summer camp — one is a junior counselor and one is an older camper. One is male and one is female (it doesn’t matter which is male and which is female). Write a scene featuring these two characters. It can be about anything you want so long as these two characters are in the scene and it is set in a summer camp. Write the scene first from the male character’s point of view. Who is he? How does he feel about the young woman? Are they friends or enemies? Are they romantically involved? After you’ve written your scene, rewrite the scene from the female’s perspective. Ask yourself those same questions about her. Who is she? What kind of person is she? What does she want? How does she feel about the male? What is the nature of their relationship? Got it? Now write it. Once you’ve finished rewrite the scene again — this time from the perspective of a casual observer of the relationship between the two characters. Sound like a plan? Well, get to it . . .