Rolling Eyes, Batting Eyelashes
Published October 10th, 2011 | 
Have you seen those commercials with Brooke Shields for that drug that grows eyelashes? Forget about whether or not eyelash growth products actually work. A pill that grows eyelashes? Seriously!? Who thought that was a good idea? OMG, I don’t know what to do. My eyelashes aren’t long enough. Yeah, it’s really worth taking a drug with potentially dangerous side effects to grow your eyelashes a few extra millimeters.
Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore
Published September 5th, 2011 | Actually, Alice never lived here . . .
Nonetheless, for the past couple days I been receiving emails from some guy spamming me with messages intended for the Alice Blue Review. How these messages are finding their way to my inbox I have no idea (anymore than I can fathom why messages that are intended for me occasionally don’t arrive at all). What is clear is this guy named Louis Marvin is intent on getting ABR’s poetry editor, Amber Nelson, to visit his website where he has posted some poems.
Forget about the fact that poetry editors almost never accept work posted on a personal website (I say, “almost never” because I have, on a few occasions, published poetry first posted to a personal website. However, those poets were writers I’d previously published whose work I liked) — no, what is truly strange is the email message itself:
if you google: Louis Marvin Poems
writings that are from today to recent pasts come up from poems, editorials and prose stuffs.
another great day in hawaii!
fish and turtles are fed, plants watered, child tutored, and my teeth cleaned at kahala mall! listen to YES sometime and you lose your mean bones!
Right now, I’m wondering if I should forward this message to Amber Nelson.
09/06/2011*Note: “Louis Marvin” contacted me to let me know that his spam mail was an “accident.” He claimed that it was only intended as a private message for a few friends. Not sure I buy that. What kind of mail program is he using that he can accidentally send bulk email like that? And how did I end up on that contact list since I don’t even know the dude?
Posted in Happy Horseshit, Magazines, Shits and Giggles, Wannabes, blogs, ezines, poetry | 
Leave a commentJack the Ripper Shops Here
Published July 29th, 2011 | I stumbled across this website today that sells utility blades and scalpels. Utility blades and scalpels! Really. That’s all this online store sells. Who shops online for scalpels and utility blades? Hospitals and doctors offices can buy them by case loads from medical supply warehouses. And you can buy utility blades at any dollar store. I can just see the commercial for that store. Jack the Ripper and Osama Bin Laden could be the spokesmen. “Buy utility knives at MartorUSA.com — these are some killer deals!”
