Everybody Wants a Beach Body
Published April 30th, 2012 | 
I’ve battled weight problems for pretty much my entire existence. Oh, there have been brief periods when I was down to my normal weight (or close to it). The first time I made a serious effort was back in high school. By my sophomore year, I had ballooned to 300 pounds. I was pre-hypertensive. The school nurse badgered me into losing weight, forcing me into weekly check-ups to observe my progress. I started exercising and went on a Slimfast diet. Although progress was slow at first, I managed to shed 80 pounds within a year. I managed to maintain this weight for almost eight years. But then I lost my job and found myself sitting on the couch watching a lot of TV. By the time I got another job, I’d gained about 35 pounds. Although my job was extremely physical, I still ate most of my daily meals at fast food restaurants so, while I didn’t add any more weight for the next few years, I wasn’t losing any weight either. Then, one day, in an effort to impress this woman I was in love with at the time, I joined to a gym and cut out most of the junk food and soft drinks. Within 6 months, I dropped to 182 pounds and even had six-pack abs for the first time in my life. Well, the relationship didn’t work out the way I’d hoped and I gradually drifted back to my bad habits. Over the next several years my weight crept back up to 300.
300 unhealthy pounds is an disaster waiting to happen. After yet another job loss and a battle with cancer, my weight dropped dramatically. I looked like a concentration camp survivor. I began to gain weight again several months after finishing my treatments. Despite regular daily exercise and a more sensible diet, managed to gain a lot of weight rather quickly. Ever since then, my weight has gone up and down.
Recently, I decided to rededicate myself to getting my weight under control. I’ve committed myself to an extreme body workout. But after a 90 day review, I still haven’t attained that elusive Beach Body. Perhaps, by the end of the year, I’ll get a little bit closer to my goal.
This is a guest post provided by Fitness Alliance.
Fat, Out-of-Shape, Lazy Writer
Published April 22nd, 2012 | I am fat. Seriously. I go to the gym at least 4 days a week. I take walks. Still cannot lose weight. When I’m not exercising, though, I basically sit on my ass in front of a computer. I might not feel so bad about that if I was doing some serious writing, but I’m not. Mostly I just stare into space and think about how fat my ass is and about all the writing I’m not doing. I don’t know. Maybe I should start taking myoripped or something. Maybe I should go to the gym 7 days a week. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that chocolate cake last night. Whatever . . . I know for a fact I should be writing more. A poem, short story. Another bad novel. Even a screenplay or an essay. Whatever. Not being able to write is a new problem for me. Makes me depressed.
Maybe I Should Move to Calgary
Published March 28th, 2012 | Watching the news coverage of the Supreme Court hearing over Obamacare, I couldn’t help thinking that conservatives are doing everything in their power to ruin this country. Makes me think I out to get a passport, hop on a bus and move to Calgary. The Repugnicans are ruining everything. As far as they’re concerned, America is only for certain Americans, and the rest of us can go screw ourselves. So, I say … maybe they can have it, and the rest of us can move to Canada, where the people are friendly and you have universal healthcare.
Seriously, at the rate we’re going, the United States of America will consist of a few thousand rich people, homeschooling their kids behind the walls of a gated community country club and the rest of us will be out on the street. So, Calgary, it is! Why not? It’s a nice, clean city. Plenty of fresh, green air. I’m told they have a great zoo. I’m also told there are jobs there. The Repugs are always telling the 99-percent to get out if we don’t like getting screwed over time an again. So let’s all move to Canada.
