Diary of a Mad Editor

Last night, it was raining. I have a dial-up connection at home, and when it rains my Internet service is even worse than usual. I can barely connect if, at all and it’s generally impossible to complete even the smallest task online when this happens.

So, I found myself at loose ends. No money to go anywhere, not able to get online, nothing on television and no good books to read. And, since I haven’t received my latest Netflix offering, there wasn’t even a DVD to watch.

I entertained myself by playing the Sims 3 last night. The patriarch of my active Sims family has the “handy” trait and has maxed-out his tinkering skill, which allows him to make quick repairs to broken appliances and do “upgrades” to them. Anyway, there was an option to “boost channels”. I thought this was funny because it seems even the Sims’ virtual world is affected by the digital conversion. I don’t know if giving sims the upgrade gives them cable or Direct TV, but I remember in Sims 1 there used to be a satellite dish you could add to your Sim family’s home to give them extra channels. There are no DirecTV satellite dishes in S3 unfortunately and no extra channels — I think the upgrade just convinces the Sims that watching DirectTV or cable or whatever is more fun than it actually is. Just like real life! I just thought that was funny. On the other hand, I was desperate for amusement so I may have convinced myself that playing this game last evening was more fun than it actually was.

. . . and that’s about all this day, this week has been worth. I’ve reconciled myself to the fact that my week was a crappy affair. Hassles of over medical insurance and bureaucratic red tape, intermitant computer and Internet problems, fatigue and too much to do and no will to accomplish it. Not to mention the bad weather that seem to come and go and come again like the right kind of wrong woman. On top of that, I weighed myself today and discovered that I hadn’t lost so much as an ounce! Can someone shout, “ fat burner, anyone!” Seriously, the silver lining is that I didn’t gain so much as an ounce either. This was a day for self-pity and self-recriminations, to be sure . . . until I heard about this woman who had died in a car crash — no one I know, but if you’ve ever seen that horror flick, Final Destination, you’d have to appreciate the irony and, BTW, reconsider what does and does not define a “crappy week.” The woman in question was supposed to be on that Air France flight that crashed a couple of weeks back. Fortune seemed to smile on her and her husband, as they missed the flight. Unfortunately, a car crash claimed her life (although, her husband survived. See what I mean about ironic? And for the record, no matter how much I want to whine about my week, at least I haven’t died in a car wreck (knock wood, because the week is not technically over yet).

Peace out, my lovelies and have a good weekend — get some sun, eat some BBQ and send some karma my way. Later.

Memorial Day — rah, rah . . . thank the troops and veterans of foreign wars, etc. Wave the bloody flag. Have a parade. All that jazz.

Already I can smell the neighbor’s BBQ wafting through my open window. I’ve got a small fan going (it’s just blowing hot air around the room). Didn’t get invited to any BBQ this year, so fuck it. My Memorial Day will be spent trying to complete a few writing projects. My Memorial Day feast will consist of ham salad sandwiches and a few chips. Seriously. I’m sticky and hot and feeling a bit cranky. Didn’t sleep too well because of the heat (and I’m thinking, it isn’t even Summer yet! Who says there’s no green house effect?) As such, I’m feeling a lot of envy for those well-to-do fuckers who live in the lap of luxury — who can lie about in their pool floats lounges sipping ice tea, not a worry in the world.

There’s a fucking bird chirping over and over — and now one of my other neighbors is mowing his grass. Beautiful! Now I’m hot and sticky and annoyed by a bird and a lawn mower and tortured by the smell of smoking meat. I don’t have a swimming pool nor do I have access to one. I still have two more crappy articles to finish just because I need the money. I’m not living in the lap of luxury — I’m living in misery’s ass crack.

Memorial Day kinda blows this year.