Mystery Math
Published September 1st, 2010 | 
I was never all that good at math. At least, it was the only subject in school I had to struggle with. Except for word problems. For some reason I was always good at word problems. I suppose this is because, instead of dealing with raw numbers on a page, word problems express the math in written language in a human setting. Just like a mystery story. In fact, I was thinking that writing word problems is a good exercise for budding mystery writers.
Let’s say we have three sports fans:
George, Carl and Alvin. One man likes the Colorado Rockies and has purchased COORS FIELD TICKETS . One is a Pittsburg Steelers fan and has acquired Heinz Field Tickets. The other is a Celtics fan and has bought Boston Celtics Tickets. Alvin is not planning to travel to Boston. Neither Carl nor George follow baseball. George thinks football is too violent. Now, based on this information, which team does each man root for?
Well, this one is quite easy to figure out. You mystery writers should’ve gotten it. Since George thinks football is too violent and doesn’t follow baseball, he must be a Celtics fan. Since Carl doesn’t follow baseball and Alvin isn’t planning to buy tickets to see the Celtics, Carl must be a Steelers fan, which leaves Alvin as the lone Rockies fan among the trio.
See how this simple word problem forms the basis for a mystery? Next time you get stuck on your mystery, writer the plot as a word problem and see if the basic structure of the problem can help you get unstuck.
Writing Prompt #11: At the Car Mall
Published April 29th, 2010 | It’s been a while. Thought maybe it was time for another writing prompt to work some of the cobwebs out of your brains:
Carly stood in the sales lot of Big Ron’s Super-Duper Car Mall, leaning over, exposing her long, shapely and tanned legs. Seeing the honda pilot price, she sighed and moved on down the line. She didn’t like the pilot. Too common. And even though she liked the mazda cx-7 price, Carly was single and didn’t see the need for an SUV. She liked the Mercedes. It was elegant enough. Then, a moment later, upon viewing the mercedes benz cls price, she changed her mind. A Mercedes is so ten years ago, she mused. What I really want, she thought, is something sporty maybe something in a hybrid. Carly studied the tesla price with great interest. As she was bent over the hood of the Tesla, Big Ron, himself, approached her . . .
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to finish this story. You must choose to write the story in one of the following three ways:
Humorous slapstick, satire, witty banter, whatever you think makes for a funny story.
Science Fiction Is Ron an android? Maybe Carly’s is a face-eating alien. Maybe the car mall is located on an asteroid. Or maybe its all a computer simulation. Whatever trips your hardwire.
Erotic: Maybe there’s a reason they call Big Ron big. Maybe Carly’s a tranny. Softcore or hardcore. Be graphic or be subtle, but be as descriptive as you can. Whatever gets you wet.
Writing Prompt #10: Faraway Girl
Published December 10th, 2009 | It’s an unseasonably warm day in December. Imagine you’re a teenage boy of about sixteen or seventeen. You’re sitting in one of those chain book stores — either Borders or Barnes and Noble. You’re sitting with your laptop, eagerly tapping away on the keyboard when your attention is drawn by an attractive female about your age or perhaps a bit older.
You are first drawn to her perfume which smells like bubble gum. Her dark hair (she could be a blonde or a redhead, up to you depending on where you want to take this little exercise) is pulled back into a ponytail. She’s wearing a tunic dress and a pair of Ed Hardy Shoalin boots.
She’s standing in the aisle thumbing through a Jane Austen novel, humming a Christmas Song.
You are immediately attracted to her and want to meet her. Write a vignette or story in which you meet this girl. Maybe you walk right up to her and start a conversation. Or, perhaps you follow her around a bit before you work up the nerve. Either way, during the course of this exercise, you must learn at least three personal details about this young woman and reveal at least three personal things about the teen boy. In addition, you must work the following topics into the story in no particular order: Santa Claus, bananas, sock puppets, David Bowie, quantum physics, Dexter (the tv show) and Mom’s underwear.
Good luck, and get writing.
