Diary of a Mad Editor

Archive for the ‘blogs’ Category

You Are a Doo-Doo Head or, Do As I Say Not As I Doo-Doo

Dear Uptight Grammarian:

You know — honest to Christmas, I wasn’t originally going to respond to your email. It’s been sitting in my inbox for 2 weeks and I was going to delete it today. I get a little sick of reading the same complaints by knuckeheads like you who have nothing intelligent or substantive to say beyond the usual whining. It gets tiresome trying to come-up with witty retorts and there’s really very little sport in it for me these days. But, I was chatting with another literary editor yesterday and we were talking about the use of vulgarity in writing, so I thought I could cover that topic by way of a response to you.

Before I address your point about my use of “vulgarities” let me say this about my blog:

1) Yes, I do bend the rules of grammar/mechanics to some degree. This blog is written in a certain style and I bend those rules to fit that style. The manner in which I write this blog merely reinforces everything I’ve said about good writing. If you don’t understand that, I’d suggest you read through my blog more carefully.

2) My “snide, unprofessional attitude”? Is there some special edicate manual for literary editors I’m supposed to know about? I’ve read and responded to thousands and thousands of submissions over the years, and I’d defy but the tiniest percentage of those thousands to even suggest that I was ever unkind or unfair to them. And if I did trash that tiny percentage of writers, they had it coming as far as I’m concerned.

3) Last time I checked, this blog was called Diary of a Mad Editor — not Diary of the Warm, Fuzzy, Well-Manicured Editor so, get over it.

Now, about “vulgarities”:

Yes I do curse to some degree in this blog and elsewhere. But I only use obscenties when they seem appropriate. I’ve never said to any writer not to use obscenities in their writing — only that they use that language when necessary and not frivolously. Foul language, seemingly inappropriate subject matter, extreme violence, explicit sex, gallows humor, taboo subject matter of any kind — all of these things have a place in written communication. Anything that is a part of our human experience has a proper place in our literature. This was what I was discussing with my editor friend. When you write about a subject, you have to be true to that subject. You can’t sanitize it if the subject, by it’s very nature, is unsanitary. Fuck that. Fuck censorship. How are you going to write about something convincingly if you restrain yourself that way. As a writer, you have to embrace the idea of an appropriate level of language. That doesn’t mean that you write something purely for it’s apparent shock value. What it does mean is that if you are writing about a dock worker, for instance, that he walk, talk, dress and exhibit many of the traits of someone of his social class and experience. Same goes with soldiers or cops or anyone else. If you write about a pedophile, you have to capture all the things about him that make him creepy and wrong no matter how taboo.

Now, I realize I’ve deliberately strayed from your email’s topic, but only somewhat because, despite your protestations to the contrary, I think I’ve demonstrated in a roundabout way that I do very much practice what I’ve been preaching.

Can I get an “Amen”?

You Think They’d Really Be That Desperate?

Yesterday morning, I was at the post office picking up some submissions. I opened a few of them while I was there as per my normal custom and began to read them. The first submission was just good enough to get assigned to my “maybe” pile. The others were definitely going into my “no-way-in-Hell-never-ever” pile. In fact, the third submission I read was so bad, that I loudly exclaimed, “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me with this shit!” My friend Tony was on duty and he started chuckling.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

So I told him. And told him. And told him. Several minutes later, he nods his head and says, “You know what?”

“No. What?”

“Maybe you oughta start a magazine that just publishes bad poetry. Call it Your Poetry Sucks Review.”

“Huh? Yeah . . . I don’t know about that. Interesting concept though.”

Truth is, I was seriously considering it. But then, I thought:

A) Who’d want to read it?

I do recall some years ago, there was a magazine (can’t for the life of me remember the name of it) which published only material that had been previously rejected. I don’t know for a fact that all of the material was necessarily bad as “rejected” doesn’t automatically mean that a piece of writing is unpublishable. Nonetheless, as far as I know that magazine didn’t last too long, so I can’t imagine there’d be this great demand to read a similar magazine.

B) Why should I create a publication opportunity for poetry that shouldn’t see the light of day?

I’ve always been of the opinion that bad writers have the right to write as much as they want to, but the public has the equal right not to have that crap foisted onto them and it’s an editor’s job to police the situation. I’d be dishonoring and disrespecting my readers if I made it easier for these deluded individuals to get their work out there.

C) Who in their right mind would agree to have their suck-ass poetry in a literary magazine dedicated to poking fun at what terrible writers they are?

Actually, I do know of a few godsmack awful writers who’d love to be in such a publication. They are so deluded about their talents that they are oblivious to any criticism of their work. I could make fun of them to the trump of doomsday and they simply wouldn’t care as long as I spelled their names correctly in the byline. Most writers, however, would be offended and wouldn’t give me permission to publish their work in such a way. So, I doubt I’d be able to fill many issues over the long haul.

Besides, poking fun at the odd writer here in this blog is one thing — those writers more or less ask for it. Devoting a whole publication to the practice is another fish altogether. Even I’m not that heartless.

Projection Word Drops

Projection Word Drops is a relatively new online magazine (or magazine-style blog) promoting global awareness and a free exchange of ideas. The articles posted on this site cover a wide variety of topics — everything from education and religion to politics and creative writing.

I found the slant of this online publication to be a refreshing change. Although I would most definitely classify this site as being a part of the Netroots movement, it is not overtly political and has a much more benign tone than other, similar sites do.

And, being true to it’s roots, this site doesn’t appear to be written by professional writers. Some of the articles do not even appear to be written by individuals who speak and write in English as their primary language. Since this site is directed at an English-speaking audience, it might be a good idea to have an English-language editor go through the articles before they are posted to give them some polish.

Be that as it may, I enjoyed this site overall, and believe in its positive message. So, you guys might want to check it out if you have a few spare moments.