Kiss My Asterisk Pt. 2
Published May 14th, 2010 | 
The poet who wrote to complain that I didn’t format his poem correctly still is not happy! Can you believe this shit? I made the changes he’d requested. But, no . . . apparently the formatting is still not correct:
I don’t know why this has to be so complicated. I guess it’s Gmail’s fault for screwing with the formatting. . . It bothers me to bother you but every writer wants to see their writing the way it was written. I can understand your exasperation; so you can possibly understand mine? If it can’t be fixed, then please just take it down. I appreciate your time with this.
-Tom
Okay, for the last time, I’ve reformatted the poem based on the version he sent in his current email (different only in respect to a few line breaks). But here’s the thing: Why in the fuck did he not just send the poem in a word file to begin with? It’s a simple thing. If I cannot expect him to send his poem in the proper format to begin with — to check his work accordingly before sending it out willy-nilly, then why should he expect me to format the poem properly? That’s point one. Point two is that, as editor, I reserve the right to format the poem as best as I see fit. And there was really nothing wrong with how I’d formatted the poem in the first place or how I’d reformatted it in the second place. So, I don’t really think he can understand why I’ve become so exasperated. Fuck it. I would take his poem down save for the fact that I’ve arguably spent more time on his poem at this juncture than he has. Enough. I’m off to the gym to reduce belly fat. The poet in question might consider doing some mental exercise to remove some fat from his thick skull.
Bush to Publish Memoir
Published April 30th, 2010 | According to recent reports, our former President, George Dubya Bush League will release a memoir in November entitled Decision Point. Yes, the Decider-in-Chief will tell us his version of what went down during his 8-year reign. This means, he’ll probably be going on TV to promote his book. While this may be good news for embattled Democrats to have a timely reminder of the Bush Years just in time for the mid-term elections, I’m personally not looking forward to the Bush Revisionism Tour of 2010. I was hoping Bush would just go back to Crawford and stay out of the media after leaving office. You know, open up a horse tack shop or something. Instead, the media will give him one more opportunity to convince the world that he’s not the most disastrous president of our time. I can just see him on Faux News now, having his asshole licked by Chris Wallace or O’Reilly. Or, perhaps worse, taking softball questions from some lightweight on early morning shows. I just hope Bush’s ghostwriter got hazard pay for his troubles.
There They Go Again Pt. 2
Published April 27th, 2010 | Sometimes I think that the best weight loss pills available are Wall Street types and the politicians who protect their interests. If you have a fat cat stealing food from a starving cat, you end up with a fatter cat and a dead cat. Such is the orgy of rape and theft being done on main street by the fat cats of Wall Street. Currently, the Democrats are trying to get a financial reform bill through Congress. One can certainly debate whether or not their effort has teeth or not, but no one in their right mind can argue that the measure is unnecessary. The Republicans, as usual, are trying to block the effort. Yesterday, they blocked an effort to even open the floor to debate on the subject. Now, why would the Repugnicans allow a bill to pass out of committee without offering a single amendment only to block the bill from being discussed?
This morning, a reporter posed this same question to Kay Bailey Hutchinson, a republican senator from Texas (naturally). Her answer amounted to a masterful load of Orwellian doublespeak that defied logic. She claimed that she and her Repug colleagues were blocking the Demos because the bill wouldn’t end “too big to fail” and that they wanted to protect “main street”. However, when probed about specific amendments proposed by the Demos that would do just that, she was against them. Explain it to me like I’m a four year-old, Kay, because I do not get it. You want to protect main street, but you are against any measure that would protect main street? You want to end “too big to fail” but you don’t want to limit the size of banks. You want to protect consumers, but you are against a strong consumer protection agency or even the most common sense regulations like limiting credit card usury? How does that protect the people or promote the success of community banks and small businesses? I’m sorry, but I don’t see how anyone can buy into this line of garbage unless they are brain dead fucking retarded.
So instead of buying weight loss pills, let’s just let the fat cats eat us into starvation. That’s the republican diet plan, anyway. Turn us all into uneducated dittoheads living in a third-rate, third-world country where only a select few live free and rich, smiling from their penthouses overlooking a sea of whites-only country clubs while the rest of use live on crumbs in the ghettos of America. A country where poverty is prosperity, war is peace and up is down.
