Diary of a Mad Editor

I’m not sure when it happened. But somewhere along the way, I became kind of useless. I used to be a bit of a night owl. When I was a very young 22 year-old, I could work my shift at the department store, go out after and be up all night and still make it to class the next day. Maybe it’s my age (42) or my past and recent health problems, but I have very few functional hours left in me and even fewer functional days in the week in which to do whatever it is I do. I’m usually good from the hours of 10 am until about 3pm. Mondays are not too good for me and Tuesdays are starting to feel like Mondays. Wednesdays, being “hump day” are always a grind. That leaves Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Like I said, Tuesdays are starting to feel like Mondays. So, when I woke up, didn’t hardly remember my own name, took my pill and plopped down in front of the computer, determined, if not entirely eager, to muddle through, I was keenly aware I was suffering a bad case of the Tuesdays (which is a case of the Mondays that bleeds over into Tuesdays). I started out reading submissions. I got through maybe 25 or 26 submissions before I had enough of that. Then I poured some bran flakes into a bowl with milk and ate at my desk as I looked through the rest of my email, which was kind of depressing. There was a lot of spam that managed to elude the spam filters and one which did not entirely elude the spam filters but had arrived as text in the body of an email from my web host informing me that the message was spam:

Spam detection software, running on the system has
identified this incoming email as possible spam. The original message
has been attached to this so you can view it (if it isn’t spam) or label
similar future email. If you have any questions, see
the administrator of that system for details.

Content preview: Dear Friend, I am Mrs. Marina Litvinenko, wife of Alexander
Litvinenko, a former Russian security officer who died in a London hospital
after apparently being poisoned with the highly-toxic metal thallium by Mr.
Lugovoi, a Russian Government Paid agent. [...]

Content analysis details: (10.6 points, 5.0 required)

pts rule name description
—- ———————- ————————————————–
0.0 UNPARSEABLE_RELAY Informational: message has unparseable relay lines
1.3 MISSING_HEADERS Missing To: header
2.7 DEAR_FRIEND BODY: Dear Friend? That’s not very dear!
0.0 BAYES_50 BODY: Bayesian spam probability is 40 to 60%
[score: 0.5060]
0.8 MSOE_MID_WRONG_CASE MSOE_MID_WRONG_CASE
1.2 ADVANCE_FEE_2 Appears to be advance fee fraud (Nigerian 419)
1.4 ADVANCE_FEE_3 Appears to be advance fee fraud (Nigerian 419)
3.1 FORGED_MUA_OUTLOOK Forged mail pretending to be from MS Outlook
The following are the headers for this message/rfc822 message.
Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 02:43:18 -0000
Subject: ….Read This Proposal…. Urgent…
From: “Mrs Marina Litvinenko”
2.1 unnamed [text/plain] 1.46 KB

Dear Friend,

I am Mrs. Marina Litvinenko, wife of Alexander Litvinenko, a former Russian security officer who died in a London hospital after apparently being poisoned with the highly-toxic metal thallium by Mr. Lugovoi, a Russian Government Paid agent.

This is my husband’s life in a video for your full understanding.

Your can read articles about my Husband’s ordeal via the

websites

Please I want you to assist me to remove USD$9.5M given to my husband before his death by Mr. Berezovsky, A Russian Billionaire Exiled in UK for exposing an alleged plot to assassinate him by the Russian Authority and to investigate the death of Anna Politkovskaya, a Russian Journalist believed to have equally been poisoned by the Kremlin for writing a book: The Putin’s Russia: Life in a Failing Democracy depicted Russia as a country where human rights are routinely trampled.

The Funds are deposited with a financial firm in Europe and I will want to relocate these funds for investment in your region and with your assistance and advice.

As soon as I receive your response, I will furnish you with more details on this issue that is stressing me so badly. I do not mind drawing a business agreement with you.

Best Regards,

Mrs. Marina Litvinenko.

Well, the Nigerian Bank Scam is nothing new — I probably get a dozen such emails a week nearly exactly like it. You’d have to be a world class village idiot to fall for such a plea, and has me wondering why the system administrators of these networks and mail servers and what not, can’t simply eliminate these kinds of fraudulant messages altogether. Which brings me to another piece of spam I recieved this morning:

Lewis University Online invites you to enroll now

The masters information security program explores the theory and practice of IT security on a global scale, the latest advances in all of the involved technologies, as well as the multi-layered legal and ethical issues facing IT security professionals.

Hah! See here! Lewis University Online has become almost as ubiquitous as Phoenix University as an alternative technical training school. I’ve been seeing their ads more and more. What I’m wondering is where did the geniuses who provide security for my email go to school? Maybe they should sign-up for the Lewis University Online course. Seriously, trudging though submissons is tasking enough without having to sort through spam to determine what is and is not spam. And when you have spam filters in place — not just, one layer but two and these messages are still getting through, there’s something wrong. When “spam filter” just means getting a message that includes a message identified as spam. Why the fuck should I even see such messages if the system recognizes this stuff as spam? Yet, important, relevant email often does not get through? Like I say, maybe these guys need more training. Or maybe those guys are suffering a case of the Tuesdays as well. Ya think?