He’s Says He Was Only Joking, but I’m Thinking He’s Just a Joke
Published October 30th, 2008 | 
You ever hear the saying, “when you’ve dug yourself into a hole, quit digging”? Well . . . that’s some good advice for Mr. Dean Grondo, wannabe story writer who was featured in a previous post, “He Must’ve Written His Story in Crayon.” Grondo decided to respond to that post with the following comment:
“You guys are makin’ me giggle
I think Cindy and everybody missed the part where it says,
‘Due to time constraints I’m forced to use this form letter and I offer my apoligy for this.’
It’s a fucking joke!
Sorry Cindy, whoever you are, that my apparently bad joke screwed with your head. But, how could you guys not know that this was a joke?!!!!!!!!!!Insofar as my FALLOUT from all this….
Boo Fucking Hoo”— Dean Grondo
Don’t get me wrong, people — I sincerely love comments and wish I got more of them, but explain to me how this comment helps Dean Grondo argue his case. He must belong to the wine of the month club (read: “whine”). I don’t believe Grondo was “joking” when he responded to Cindy’s rejection of his story and I will get to that in a moment. First, though, let’s assume for the time being that Grondo was joking. What was the point of his joke? Why would anyone receiving his “joke” find it amusing? I’ve stated this before and I guess it’s one of those things I’ll be repeating over and over (because you can’t repeat things often enough for the brain dead fucking retarded among us), but if you absolutely must respond to a rejection, respond with a polite “thank you” for taking the time to read the submission. Because a little good will goes a long way.
Now I don’t believe this “joke” was intended as a joke because it obviously was made solely to amuse the douchebag who sent it and not intended to entertain Cindy. And considering the nature of Grondo’s rejected story (according to Cindy because, like I stated in the post, I didn’t read it) Grondo either didn’t read or intentionally disregarded Yellow Mama’s submission guidelines, which in itself can and does ruffle the feathers of a hard-working editor. So we have a guy who doesn’t respect editors, who doesn’t respect the submission process and thinks it’s perfectly reasonable to attack editors who don’t automatically bow down before his awesome ego.
Grondo should’ve taken my advice and simply apologized for being an asshole. Of course, I’ve never met a genuine asshole who was at all apologetic about being an asshole so I didn’t really expect an act of contrition from him. But, even an asshole should know when he’s beat. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, Grondo should just shut up and wear it. Because, while I can’t speak for Cindy, I can certainly do this until they drag my corpse away. So if he thinks he knows what fallout is . . . just keep digging that hole, brother.
Posted in Assholes, Authors, Publishing, The Last Word, The Writing Life, Wannabes, blogs | 
Dean Grondo6 Responses to He’s Says He Was Only Joking, but I’m Thinking He’s Just a Joke
Wow. I’m glad I’ve never had someone act so badly in response to a rejection. I’m friends with an editor who received death threats and was stalked online because of the rejections they’d sent out. I mean, what the hell is wrong with these people? My first rejection I took personally because I was new to the process and I can admit it hurt. But then you get over it and you realize it’s (usually) not personal. Being an editor helps a lot, too. Once you’ve been on the other side you have more respect for those editors who read your work. This Dean Grondo seems rather passionate about being an ass.
Let’s put this to bed shall we?
1)Yellow Mama is an adult web site and I saw no harm in sending a profane jocular query.
2)It was a query about a submission, not a response to a rejection this is all about- I generally thank eds for rejections, because it helps me keep my files in order(they don’t have to tell a writer they’re not using a story, do they? A rejection is actually a courtesy).
3)I am definetly a wannabe writer- I got no game man. It’s a freaking hobby! Besides bball season is starting and well, it’s my thing man. I got a coupla jobs y’know. If I wanted to really be a writer I’d aspire to write for THE NEW YORKER or PLAYBOY($$$$$).
The only thing about this whole biz that I actually resent is the allegation that I would insult someone using the word faggot. I wouldn’t. Now , THAT would be rude, in my opinion.
My very last word on this the guy that’s owns this site got a sense of humor (and a lot of fucking time on his hands)
Sure, I’m willing to put this to bed. Afterall, I have no vested interest in you — you are just a little red meat to feed the animals.
But allow me this last word:
1) Sure, YM does seek raw material, but what does that have to do with cover letters and query letters? What would make you think anyone would appreciate your lame, scurrilous assholery?
2) Yes, but Cindy had already responded to your submission so why would you need to query her? Moreover, even if she hadn’t responded to your submission, it’d been less than a week since you’d submitted it, so don’t you think it’s a little rude to query so soon?
And sure, a rejection is technically a courtesy, but I don’t know of an editor who doesn’t normally extend that courtesy and might I point out that you did not thank Cindy for extending that courtesy to you, and I might add that I’ve heard from enough people to suggest to me that you are not typically courteous to editors who read your work. I’ve yet to hear from one single person who claims that you’ve been anything but a rude, obnoxious pain in the ass. Something to think about.
3)You say that with a kind of brutish contempt for those of us who are serious about writing. I sincerely hope for your sake you are more serious about your “coupla jobs” because in this economy, you never know where your next breadcrumb is coming from.
Yeah, people tell me I have a great sense of humor. Hell man, I’m just full of surprises. And as for having time on my hands — fuck, my websites are my only real source of income at the moment so it’s time well spent.
Heard about your medical condition and just wanted to tell you to take care of yourself and have a nice holiday season, sincerely, as one asshole to another.
This is not for public post of course.
I guess I should say, “Thanks?” Yeah, sure, Happy Feast of St. Lucifer to you too — one asshole to another. But if you didn’t want the public reading your comment, why did you . . . ahem . . . post it?
So funny. So So So funny.