He Must’ve Written His Story in Crayon
Published October 16th, 2008 | 
I think I mentioned in a blog awhile back that editors of literary magazines gossip about writers just like writers trade gossip about editors. Yes we do. We chat about writers we like and writers who are difficult, dreadfully untalented or a few cans short of a six-pack. And so, it wasn’t much of a surprise when Cindy Rosmus, editor of Yellow Mama emailed me today to ask me if I’d ever heard of a guy named Dean Grondo:
John:
Attached is the correspondence between me & this complete asshole whose story I rejected on 9/4.
Ever hear of this jerk?
If not, be forewarned!
I hadn’t heard of him. Cindy was irked to say the least about a rude response to a rejection she’d sent him. Apparently, he’d submitted a story. I haven’t read the story so I cannot attest to the fairness of the initial rejection — although, knowing Cindy, I suspect she had good reason to give the man the big kiss-off:
Dear DC:
Thanks for sending “You Have God to Be Kidding.” Sorry, but I can’t use it for YELLOW MAMA.
Good luck placing it elsewhere.Sincerely,
Cindy Rosmus,
YELLOW MAMA
But, this guy responded with the following:
Every 6 weeks it’s the same fucking thing! I send these goddamned “What happened to my story?” flares out to you incompetant assholes who wouldn’t know how to publish a fucking Bazooka Joe gum wrapper! So: WHERE’S MY STORY?! DID YOU USE IT? WHERE’S FUCKING THE MONEY!? Due to time constraints I’m forced to use this form letter and I offer my apoligy for this.
Dean GrondoPS: YOU GOT MY ADDRESS FOR THE MONEY?!
Nice, huh . . . Way to impress an editor, guy. Seriously, I don’t know what I find more insulting — his tone or the fact that he seems to be an illiterate fucktard.
Cindy responded:
Dear DC:
Check the date on this. You’ll see I didn’t wait 6 weeks, just 5 days and I am not an “incompetent asshole. ”
That is no way way to write a query letter.
Cindy Rosmus.
YELLOW MAMA
Apparently, this cretin is starting to get a bit of a reputation for this sort of behavior with editors who reject his work. One editor (who didn’t want to be named on this blog) reported his own encounter with Dean Grondo this way:
. . . he sent me something once, and I told him in a very polite way I couldn’t use it, and he called me, quote: ”An unprofessional faggot punk.” I told him, he was an unprofessional asshole, and he replied ”You wouldn’t say that to my face.”
To which I replied, ”Oh, yes, I WOULD.”
Stay clear of him. I think he is unbalanced. “
Unbalanced? Who knows? But he’s certainly not an uncommon occurence in the small press and he’s certainly not original. What he is, truly, is dumb, dumb, dumb. Just a widdle ole baby kicking and screaming in his widdle ole baby bedding. And that’s too bad. It’s counter-productive for any writer to take a rejection personally. Getting one rejection from an editor doesn’t necessarily mean that everything you will submit to that editor will be rejected in the future. So, who really loses when a writer, having gotten a rejection, responds with an insult? The editor? No. Hell no! An editor has plenty of material to choose from, so he doesn’t need your work in particular. He will just stick your name on his personal blacklist and probably warn other editors about your dumb ass — and they’ll tell 2 editor friends and they’ll tell 2 editor friends and so on . . . and so on . . . . You will get the reputation for being an asshole. Even if you are a decent writer, you will eventually get to a point where almost no one will read your work. And if you are a shit writer and you have the personality to match . . . well, you see my point, don’t you. So let that be a lesson to you, Dean Grondo. Were I you, I’d write a nice, long apology letter to Cindy and any other editor you’ve ticked-off with plenty of ass-kissing and groveling. Blame your behavior on an aneurysm or a personality disorder. Who gives a fuck? Just get your mind right if you want to be a writer and be taken seriously and respected.
3 Responses to He Must’ve Written His Story in Crayon
Dear John,
I recently encountered an author whose story my coeditor and I published, even giving him a lovely illo and nice bio write-up. He objected to having his story edited with the addition of one word at the end and demanded we either delete the word or remove the story. As we are a nonpaying publication, he declared he wished we’d paid, so we could be sued. I left it up to my coeditor, who removed the story. Needless to say, we’ll not be publishing this author in future. I’ve also had some authors not responding to acceptances!!! I think the way to deal with Dean Grondo is to block him. Do not publish my name or site on your blog…just in case. Cindy’s YM is our sister publication; I love her.
Hey, thanks for posting. It’s good to hear from you.
With regard to your situation with that writer, you really don’t have to worry about being sued — the guy doesn’t have a case. a) You removed the story. b) The author submitted the story in the first place and c) you guys accepted the story in the second place. d) Upon acceptance, the author had plenty of time to withdraw the story prior to publication and did not which is essentially the same as signing a contract. e)I assume you post the fact that you are a non-paying publication so it’s not your responsibility if the writer doesn’t understand that. f)A contract is a contract, editors edit. g)If a writer is ignorant that’s on them.
As for Grondo, I’m sure that’s exactly what Cindy will do and, like I said in the post, the only one who loses is Grondo.
You guys are makin’ me giggle
I think Cindy and everybody missed the part where it says,
‘Due to time constraints I’m forced to use this form letter and I offer my apoligy for this.’
It’s a fucking joke!
Sorry Cindy, whoever you are, that my apparently bad joke screwed with your head. But, how could you guys not know that this was a joke?!!!!!!!!!!Insofar as my FALLOUT from all this….
Boo Fucking Hoo