Diary of a Mad Editor

Archive for August 2nd, 2008

You Are a Doo-Doo Head or, Do As I Say Not As I Doo-Doo

Dear Uptight Grammarian:

You know — honest to Christmas, I wasn’t originally going to respond to your email. It’s been sitting in my inbox for 2 weeks and I was going to delete it today. I get a little sick of reading the same complaints by knuckeheads like you who have nothing intelligent or substantive to say beyond the usual whining. It gets tiresome trying to come-up with witty retorts and there’s really very little sport in it for me these days. But, I was chatting with another literary editor yesterday and we were talking about the use of vulgarity in writing, so I thought I could cover that topic by way of a response to you.

Before I address your point about my use of “vulgarities” let me say this about my blog:

1) Yes, I do bend the rules of grammar/mechanics to some degree. This blog is written in a certain style and I bend those rules to fit that style. The manner in which I write this blog merely reinforces everything I’ve said about good writing. If you don’t understand that, I’d suggest you read through my blog more carefully.

2) My “snide, unprofessional attitude”? Is there some special edicate manual for literary editors I’m supposed to know about? I’ve read and responded to thousands and thousands of submissions over the years, and I’d defy but the tiniest percentage of those thousands to even suggest that I was ever unkind or unfair to them. And if I did trash that tiny percentage of writers, they had it coming as far as I’m concerned.

3) Last time I checked, this blog was called Diary of a Mad Editor — not Diary of the Warm, Fuzzy, Well-Manicured Editor so, get over it.

Now, about “vulgarities”:

Yes I do curse to some degree in this blog and elsewhere. But I only use obscenties when they seem appropriate. I’ve never said to any writer not to use obscenities in their writing — only that they use that language when necessary and not frivolously. Foul language, seemingly inappropriate subject matter, extreme violence, explicit sex, gallows humor, taboo subject matter of any kind — all of these things have a place in written communication. Anything that is a part of our human experience has a proper place in our literature. This was what I was discussing with my editor friend. When you write about a subject, you have to be true to that subject. You can’t sanitize it if the subject, by it’s very nature, is unsanitary. Fuck that. Fuck censorship. How are you going to write about something convincingly if you restrain yourself that way. As a writer, you have to embrace the idea of an appropriate level of language. That doesn’t mean that you write something purely for it’s apparent shock value. What it does mean is that if you are writing about a dock worker, for instance, that he walk, talk, dress and exhibit many of the traits of someone of his social class and experience. Same goes with soldiers or cops or anyone else. If you write about a pedophile, you have to capture all the things about him that make him creepy and wrong no matter how taboo.

Now, I realize I’ve deliberately strayed from your email’s topic, but only somewhat because, despite your protestations to the contrary, I think I’ve demonstrated in a roundabout way that I do very much practice what I’ve been preaching.

Can I get an “Amen”?

For Those Who Like to Play Dress-up

It’s hard to believe Summer is almost over. Pretty soon, it’ll be Fall. Then Halloween. That means kids showing up at my door. I usually don’t bother dressing-up in a costume, but this year, who knows? I used to love playing dress-up as a kid. Mostly, I liked to pretend I was hired gunslinger out to tame the Wild West. I miss those days. Costumes are fun. They really do let you play-out your fantasies. And their not just for kids, either. Being as we’re coming up on the holidays soon — that means lots of parties and lots of occasions for costumes, decorations and weird make-up.

If you are in the market for a costume in the near future, In Costume just might be the place for you. Whether you are planning a themed poetry slam, a birthday party, a costume party in a dorm, heading off to Mardi Gras, dressing the kids for Halloween, or just want to spice things up at home with some role-playing fun and games, you can find a large, quality selection costumes and decorations at In Costume.

These aren’t the same, crappy one-size-doesn’t-fit all costumes you find at the Halloween store at the local mall, either. So let loose your inner child. Dress up as your favorite super hero, a pirste or be the naughty firefighter and heat things up with your significant other. They even have costumes for your family pet!

So why not let your freak flag fly.