I Can Teach You to Write a Book in 24hrs
Written by John Erianne on July 19, 2008 – 3:44 pm -Well . . . no I can’t. But I bet I got your attention, didn’t I?
See, if you go around the Internet and read ads in writing magazines, you’ll find dozens of scams from these self-proclaimed writing “gurus” telling you how they can magically turn you into a writer.
According to these guys, writing is easy and everyone can do it. Hell, if writing was that easy, why would we need these gurus to teach us anything? We’d all be successful writers, wouldn’t we? But, that’s the thrust of every one of these writing scams — that once you learn all the insider secrets, you will be able to write that masterpiece.
One of these gurus is a man named Steven Manning who refers to himself as a “master writer.” Mr. Manning claims he can teach you to write a book in less than 14 days. How nice!
Now, before I even get to the part where I debunk the very notion that there even is an infallable, one-size-fits-all process to writing a book in 14 days or if it’s even possible, I’d like to know: Who the fuck is Steven Manning? As far as I can tell (assuming he is the same Steven Manning who’s contributed to The Nation and The LA Times), he’s had some success writing freelance articles, and he has this course he peddles to the aspiring nitwits who don’t know any better — but is he “famous” as his website claims? Where are all the books he’s written? Surely, if he’s followed his own advice, there must be hundreds (or at least dozens) of his own books in print. Maybe I was looking in all the wrong places (several online booksellers, 6 area libraries, 10 different brick ‘n’ mortar bookstores, Google, Yahoo, MSN, Ask Jeeves, Google books, etc.) but I couldn’t find a single title by this guy or a single reader who claims to have read him. I could be wrong — many of his books could be out-of-print and perhaps he’s written them under a psuedonym — but not one?! Not a single title with his name on the front cover showing up in any of these places? I think that’s hilarious, because I’m nobody — not even close to being “famous” and not only are my own poetry chapbooks listed and available some places, I’ve found collectors selling copies for as much as $100 online (that’s a gripe for another day). So you tell me — what’s up with that? More likely than not, if Manning has written any books, he’s published them himself and only sells them to the people who sign-up for his course.
And what about his course? Well, I don’t know about it, but if it’s anything like the articles he’s written on the subject that you can read for free, his advice ranges from the obvious and simplistic to the just plain dumb:
“If you haven’t written your book yet, the only difference between you and a published author is that they’ve written their book and you haven’t.”
No, not exactly. The only difference between you and a published author is that they’ve written a book and published their book and you haven’t. Being a successful, published author requires a bit more than simply finishing a manuscript. Published authors have a publisher, which you probably don’t. They usually have a literary agent, too. And perhaps, just perhaps, they are also good writers and you are not.
Manning is also a big advocate of free-writing — although, he doesn’t call it free-writing. Rather, it’s presented as one of those “secrets” only master writers like him seem to know about. Personally, I’ve always found free-writing to be a waste of time. But that’s the point isn’t it — just because it works for Manning, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you or me. The idea that you can distill the act of writing into a single unified theory of the creative process is retarded. Every writer approaches the craft differently and, while I know there are some who don’t want to hear this, not everyone can write well enough to be a good writer, much less a great one or even a modestly successful one. And I can pretty much guarantee you that even if you could learn “the secret” of successful writing, you couldn’t learn it from Steven Manning.
July 19th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
dear j.c.
I’m kinda confused. Didn’t you say much the same thing as Manning in this blog?
July 19th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Not really. Listen. In my blog, I wasn’t even suggesting that writing output automatically equals success. I was simply talking about the difference in the mindset between a writer and a non-writer. Just because you write something, it doesn’t make you a good writer capable of producing publishable work, nor does it entitle you to publication.
Also, nowhere do I promise any reader of my blog that anything I say about writing will help them become better writers. I make no such claim and ask no fee for whatever advice I do offer. And, I’ve never asked anyone to disregard their own judgement or dissuaded them from doing their own homework. So, if you’d like to spend several hundred dollars on Manning’s course, just to discover that he’s mostly full of shit, be my guest.
July 20th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Why is it you’ve always got to put people down? Who are you that you can do that? You didn’t even sign-up for Mr. Manning’s program so how do you know it doesn’t work? You don’t know. At least he’s trying to help writers and not tear them down all the time.
July 20th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
“How do I know it doesn’t work?”
Because, Barnaby — although I was born in the morning, I wasn’t born THIS morning. You dig?
People like Manning target novices — people who don’t know jack shit about writing and publishing. Guys like him all have the same sales pitch — right down to their “power” sales letters. He makes money selling the dream, so he’s not going to tell you the stuff you need to hear. He’s going to tell you what you want to hear, throwing in just enough generic truth about writing to make himself seem more plausible.
You say I “tear people down.” Well . . . have you ever lifted weights? When you exercise your muscles, you have to tear them down before you can build them up, right? Likewise, in order to gain knowledge, you have to use your brain. In the process, you’ve have to purge yourself of all the prejudices, bad habits and wrong information before you can be knowledgeable.