We All Know What Happened to Marilyn Chambers Behind the Green Door

Written by John Erianne on December 26, 2007 – 9:18 pm -

I’m sitting here in the Cumberland County Library writing these words on the brand spanking new Dell Inspiron notebook PC I received from Santa this Christmas. They have a nice, speedy free wireless network at the library and it’s so toasty warm sitting here that I thought, what a great place to write about something that’s been eating at me the last few days.

Technology is a grand thing. But it can also be a bad thing. The same Internet technology that’s facillitating this blog today can also allow all manner of con artists to take advantage of the unsuspecting. You may recall me discussing this theme generally in my previous entry, “In the Land of the Blind, the One-eyed Man is King.” However, I’d like to speak about a more specific element today: an outfit called Greendoor Publishing.

Allow me to be up front about something: I am not an unbiased observer. I did not happen upon this website by accident. I have been desperate for money lately in an effort to save my own publishing enterprise, Asterius Press. Desperate enough to do something I, myself, consider to be profane among most bloggers: take money to write about other websites. So far I’ve only done this a couple of times, but have been actively bidding on jobs for the past two months. And this is how I came across Greendoor Publishing. This outfit was soliciting someone to write a puff piece on their operation. I bid on this job because theirs is a writing/publishing-related site and it seemed like a fair exchange of money for me and exposure for them. Needless to say, I never wrote that puff piece because they quickly declined my bid. I was astonished not so much that they declined my bid but that they did it so quickly. I wondered why. I mean, I am a small press editor with a lot of experience. This blog is all about the small press. Pretty much every reader I have is a writer and/or editor. If I were looking for exposure for my writing site, I’d accept a bid from someone like me. Now maybe they turned me down because my rankings were too low. Maybe, but is that the only reason? If so, it’s a little unrealistic to find a suitable writing website ranked higher than P3 willing to write a positive review for what Greendoor is willing to pay and if they aren’t aware of this, it just goes to show how ignorant they are. Anyway, I became curious and looked at their site more closely. What I discovered is that they are the very kind of snake oil merchants I was referring to in that earlier blog. No wonder they didn’t trust me to write a review of their website. No wonder they wanted a “benefits-only” review. “Ah hah!” I exclaimed to myself. And you know what? I decided to write about them anyway — for free. Aren’t I a sweetheart?

The name of this so-called operation is memorable, but only because it makes me think of that old ’70s porn movie, Behind the Green Door. You know — the one starring Marilyn Chambers and directed by the infamous Mitchell brothers of the legendary O’Farrell Theater.

The first thing you notice upon visiting Greendoor is the minimal web design. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of minimalist web design. Unfortunately, when I say this site is minimal, I’m telling you outright that it looks like no thought went into the web design at all. It looks like something that was thrown together quickly by some half-assed Front Page user. Greendoor is actively seeking submissions, but there’s no evidence that they’ve ever published anything by anyone on this site or anywhere else. The only work on the site is the writing samples from those “disparate group of writers” Greendoor’s head honcho, Fraser McKay, has gathered around him — a motley crew of unknown writers (I think there was only one poet whose name I’d heard of before and I can’t honestly say I’m a fan). What they are selling are editorial and ghostwriting services. Ah, the plot thickens. Judging from their bios, none of these people have any editorial experience that I can fathom. Fraser McKay is the only one among this bunch who even claims to have editorial experience — although he doesn’t articulate what that experience is. His dull, pretentious poetic offerings only tell me what kind of poet he is — not what kind of editor he is, or what kind of projects he’s worked on previously so I only have his word for it.

Can’t figure why a serious writer with even half a brain would pay even a “modest fee” to this bunch for editing when there are plenty of experienced editors out there offering freelance editorial services. And a lot of editors will tell you what they think about your work for free when you submit to them if they are of the mind to do so and are asked nicely. And what serious writer would need a ghostwriter? Why would a legitimate editor even offer such a dubious and unethical service?

So are these guys ezine publishers? Book publishers? Editors? Ghostwriters? I don’t know really, but I can make a stab at who their services are for: no-talent wannabes looking for a short-cut to literary fame. And I can tell you straight — no editor can guarantee you success as a writer. Having someone write something based on your own idea doesn’t make you a writer — it makes you part of a conspiracy toward fraud. And any service that promises that they can turn anyone and everyone into a writer is just blowing smoke up their ass. So if you consider yourself to be a serious writer and feel you need an editorial service to help you with something you’ve been working on, you’d better shop around. Do not allow yourself to be duped. Do not open the Green Door.

If you enjoyed this, please share with the community: