You Gotta Know the Rules to Know How to Break Them

Written by John Erianne on December 8, 2007 – 4:46 pm -

So you want to write? You woke up this morning, fell out of bed, smacked your grey matter on the nightstand and, in a moment of fevered concussive inspiration, you decided that you were a writer. You’ve never read anything more complicated than T.V. Guide. You flunked high school English. And your idea of a good sentence is probation with some community service for the DUI charge you got picked-up for last New Year’s Eve.

Just a few minutes ago, I was sitting here reading this short story submission by this woman. It wasn’t a bad story but, it had so many mechnical problems that my eyes rolled back into my head while reading it. There is not one paragraph in the entire story that doesn’t require some serious editing. My dilemma as an editor is, do I think it’s worth the trouble to edit it or at least strongly suggest to the author that she edit it?

A few weeks back I received a poetry submission from this kid whose idea of edgy poetry was to drop the ‘F’ Bomb more than 20 times in a 45-line poem. To even call that piece of rat feces a “poem” is to be too generous.

And how many writers rely on cliches and trite language without even knowing that they are using cliches and trite language?

I could name more examples, but I hope you get my point.

Ignorance is not a defense against bad writing.

That being said, a good writer can selectively bend or even break grammatical rules, spit on convention and use cliches when they know what they are doing and produce something decent in the process.

But you are not a good writer . . . at least not yet. You are a beginner with a headache. For all I know or care, you may actually have some talent. But you’ve done nothing to develop it.

“True art is inspired not learned!” you shout, triumphantly. “I don’t need no stinking writing lessons.”

Oh yeah? Why don’t you just shut the fuck up for a minute, go put some ice on that lump of yours, then we’ll talk about your problems. First off let’s get away from this insane idea that you’ve somehow been chosen by the Muse. The writer’s life may be a calling more than a choice, but it’s not sacred and certainly no Muse is pulling the strings. Second, no one owns language. All a writer owns is the arrangement of words and ideas — not the words and ideas themselves. So at best, a writer is more than a scribe, but far less than a god. You get me, Homeslice? Get down off your pedestal and come over here. And for christsake, put some clothes on.

Okay? Feeling a little better? Here, take an Advil.

Now, let’s get down to it, shall we? Certain of the more esoteric aspects of writing cannot be taught, that is true. No one can teach you to have a natural-born feel for language. No one can teach you Imagination, Empathy, Curiousity or any of that other good shit that makes for good writing. But certain things can be learned and improved upon. These are the things that can be taught: grammar, structure, narrative modes, plot progression, literary conventions, etc. — things that aren’t part of the art of writing, but the craft of writing.

Before you can break or even bend the rules of good writing or spit in the eye of conventional wisdom with any success, you must first and foremost be familiar with those rules.

So, if having recovered from your head wound, you still fancy yourself a writer, you’d be doing everyone a favor if you learn about the craft of writing before you start torturing us with your art. To that end I’ve compiled a list of 20 books that might help you on the path:

1. Elements of Style by William Shrunk and E.B. White

2. The Chicago Manual of Style

3. 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing by Gary Provost

4. Webster’s Dictionary (really, though, good writers should have several dictionaries in their possession)

5. Edit Yourself by Ross Larson

6. Three Genres by Stephen Minot

7. The Art & Craft of Novel Writing by Oakley Hall

8. On Becoming a Novelist by John Gardner

9. Telling Lies for Fun and Profit by Lawrence Block

10. Screenplay by Syd Field

11. Elements of Editing Arthur Plotnik

12. Random House Word Menu by Stephen Glazier