Diary of a Mad Editor

The other evening I was chatting with Yellow Mama editor, Cindy Rosmus about using politically correct language in creative writing. Cindy says:

I know I’m enjoying writing when I can be really DISGUSTING… Say what I want. You know, say “fuck” whenever I feel like it, & in this story, calling somebody a “gook fuck” & not worry about some politically-correct bleeding heart shaking his finger at me. I mean, nothing SUPPRESSES me more than being forced to sugar-coat shit. Like how the world can’t just say, “black,” anymore, they have to say “African-American.” I have to let characters say what THEY feel. And this one character is a nasty, foulmouthed 8th grade girl. Nasty people don’t edit their words.

For the most part I found myself agreeing with her, although I think she is talking about two different but not altogether unrelated subjects. Let’s consider political correctness for a moment. I do wholeheartedly agree that politically correct language should not be a part of any serious writer’s vocabulary. Let’s examine the example Cindy gave — using the term “African-American” instead of “black.” Correct me if I am wrong but doesn’t actress Charlize Theron come from South Africa? Doesn’t she further have dual citizenship in both the U.S. and South Africa? Is she not, then, African-American? Yes? And she’s also a tall, sexy white woman isn’t she? Therefore, “African-American” isn’t terribly descriptive and can be misleading can’t it. In fact, you’ll find time and again, that all politically correct language is, by it’s very nature and intent, misleading and useless to any serious writer. For that reason alone, it should be disgarded, and if you’re using such language just so your readers won’t think you prejudice or whatever, you shouldn’t even be a writer. A real writer doesn’t care what people think of him; he just writes what he’s compelled to write regardless.

Now, let’s address the second part of this, the notion of using curse words in creative writing. Cindy was referring specifically to using such language in dialogue when writing short stories as I recall. Obviously, anyone reading this blog or some of my other writing knows I have no problem with cursing. However, I do think such language should, for the most part, be used judiciously and strategically. I don’t think writers should curse arbitrarily or just because they think it’s cool or cutting edge and certainly not because they believe such language still has shock value. Dropping the F-bomb at just the right moment can sometimes add something spicy and unexpected to the mix. However, if you’re consistently napalming the hell out of your poetry or prose with a solid barrage of F-bombs you are sucking the life out of your writing and you only make yourself look ignorant in the process.

So, to wrap-up. Political Correctness Bad. Cursing OK. Too much thoughtless cursing bad. Censorship Bad. Editing Good. Editing is not the same thing as Censoring.

And if you happen to disagree with any of that . . . well, why don’t you go fuck yourself because you’re an idiot and we don’t much like idiots ’round here, Hoss.

The other day while I was checking my websites stats, I noticed my name came up in the keyword search string. Curious, I backtracked and found a “review” on Amazon.com for one of my collections written by a guy going by the handle Maxites “Diocrides”. Seems ole Maxi Pad is no fan of yours truly:

Snake Oil?, March 3, 2007
“Yet another disappointment from John C. Erianne; who hopefully is beginning to realize that being worse than the 3 millionth ranking on amazon, basically the only place that sells his self-published s**t, is enough to call it quits. Snake Piss is one of those books you hope to forget, just like John C. Erianne”

and . . .

Worst writing ever, March 3, 2007
“If you like sarcasm used an astronomical amount of ways simply because the writer’s life isn’t going their way: buy this book! It’s filled with “dark humor,” a.k.a. s**t, and just emphasizes the fact that some authors should never be published: especially when they publish themselves.”

Days after these two reviews appeared an “R. Christ” chimed-in with a couple of blurbs in support of Maxi Pad’s opinion:

Maxites was right – i hate to admit, March 12, 2007
Reviewer: R. Christ (Portland, Oregon USA)

“I have read all types of poetry, and thought it would be neat to pick out an author I, and no one I knew, had heard of. I hate to sound mean but, it was a waste of money and i should have stuck to the greats. Dont waste your money on this, or your time. The poetry is mediocre and dull. He tries to hard and obviously thinks too highly of himself. In researching him after i had suffered through Snake Oil I found his blog. What a sheer disapointment that was. He is just another over aged, egocentric, emo, loser. of our time. His poetry is far from passionate, and his messages are redundant. I wouldnt recommend this book to anyone.”

and . . .

Again- the only person i agree with is Maxites., March 12, 2007
Reviewer: R. Christ (Portland, Oregon USA)

“My review of Erianne on Snake Oil is still the way i feel. Usually authors will put out a bad book of poetry once in their career. So i gave Erianne another chance after snake oil and bought this. Another disapointment. I dont see how anyone who knows anything about the art of poetry can enjoy his writing. It is overused, boring, and cliche. Erianne should stick to blogging because this poetry is not worth any amount of money, it is over-emotional High School level poetry, dont waste your time or money.”

Oh Gosh Golly and darn, Max Pads and Christ!

You are so mean! I’m gonna cry now. “MOMMY, Max Pads don’t like my poems.” Waahhhhhhhh.

Seriously, when has anyone ever heard me say I was a great poet or even a good one? And I do realize the things I write are not everyone’s cup of tea. A lot of people are intolerant of material such as “Pornstar with Terminal Cancer” found in Snake Oil or “Tourette’s” found in The View from Down Here and easily dismiss them as something less than serious poems. Who am I to say they are wrong? What is serious poetry anyway? Not for me to decide — I’d guess it’s for astute critics like Max Pads and his buddy R. Christ.

For my part, I apologize for being such an awful writer that you were compelled (according to you) to read not one but two of my books and also this blog just so you could tell the unsuspecting public how bad it was. Really, I commend you for this public service and for putting me in my place. And just to show you what a fair guy I am, I will send you a full refund out of my own pocket if you would be willing to mail those books back to me with your official Amazon.com invoice (afterall, those books should be burned, dammit, and all evidence of their existence erased and since I wrote them it’s my responsibility to destroy them). So how about it guys? Feel like helping this overaged, egocentric loser out?

Come on, Max Pads. You seem like a reasonable guy. Anyone who thinks Kill Bill 1 & 2 are crap movies yet appreciates the high artistic value of The Breakfast Club must be reasonable. And I know (also according to you) that it’s all about keeping it real. And I know you’re a deep, complicated soul who enjoys no-name hip-hop groups yet can still appreciate Lord of the Rings and the “subtle and delicate” beauty of junk jewelry. And your command of the English Language astounds me. I never realized there were so many ways to use the word “dope” as an adjective before. So really, I bow down to your magnificent self and do sincerely apologize for disappointing you.

Kurt Vonnegut is dead at 84. He lived a repectably long life. He wrote his share of great books. He was also a free-thinker and a humanist of the first order. I for one will miss him. He was, along with Ray Bradbury and one or two others, a writer who made me want to be a writer.

Although I’d been dabbling at writing for a few years before first discovering a worn paperback of Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle in the mass market paperback section of the Cumberland County Library, I will say that he was the one writer who first made me realize that fiction need not only be entertaining — it could be wise and have something important to say about humanity and our cultural failings as well. Over the next several years I read everything by him I could get my hands on. Classics like Slaughterhouse Five and God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. Although some might disagree, I still consider Breakfast of Champions to be one of his most important books and Mothernight to be my personal favorite.

Anyone who wants to write should have this man’s books on their personal reading lists. Great writers don’t come along too often and we live in a age when even potential greatness is beaten into the pulp of mass-market mediocrity. Kurt Vonnegut was one of the great ones.