Diary of a Mad Editor

Archive for March, 2007

Imitation May Be the Sincerest Form of Flattery, but There Ain’t No Percentage in Publishing Flattery

Dear John C. Erianne:

A good many years back, while Richard Hugo and I were picnicking at Lake Kapowsin, he told me I should try my hand at writing letter poems. As you probably know it was one of his favorite forms. Over the years it has become one of mine. I thought these might interest you. . . .

Sincerely,
Fredrick Zydek”

Geegollywhiz Fredrick,

whatever gave you the idea these poems would interest me? Are we on intimate terms? Have I, as a matter of pillow talk, confessed some special love of letter poems or Richard Hugo? As a matter of fact, I’m not a major Richard Hugo fan. And while I have no special feeling about “letter poems” one way or another, your offerings were duller than an old butter knife and if it don’t cut steak, what’s the point? And even if I were a Richard Hugo fan, why would I want to publish material that is merely poor imitation of something he might’ve written?

I have to admit, I was amused by your anecdote of “picnicking with Richard Hugo” by the lake. I can just about imagine fat, bald Richard sitting there on a blanket by the water’s edge, in his cheap tweed suit, suggesting poetry the way one might suggest fellatio. That is a hoot and a holler.

But, seriously, name-dropping and your 800+ publication credits don’t impress me. What would impress me is if you’d actually read anything I’ve ever published in my magazine prior to submitting.