Diary of a Mad Editor

Dear editor at Asterius,

I’m an aspiring writer who’s still trying to make my way into the published scene. So far I’ve written a book, but I need to find a way to crack through and get my name into the writing world before I can start submitting my manuscript to publishers and literary agents. My credentials are simply having taken a college level Creative Writing class with the poet Dr. Lois Roma-Deeley. Please take a look at my story, I’m certain you’ll find it intriguing.

Thank you,
Michael Pritsos

The kid didn’t ask for my opinion of his work and I didn’t give it. What he got was a form rejection letter. His “story” wasn’t really a story at all — not by any definition I’ve yet read of short fiction. His “story” wasn’t even much of an essay — at least not a fully formed, well-researched essay. His “story” was not original or especially well-written — although, I suppose, by high school standards it might pass muster for the school lit journal.

He didn’t ask for my opinion and I didn’t give it — which is not to say I didn’t have a strong urge to hit him over the head with a club and leave him by the roadside. “crack through and get my name into the writing world” “literary agents” Huh? This kid needs a reality check. When I was 17, I was already a better writer than this kid will probably ever be. And guess what? You won’t find my name on a dust-jacket in Barnes and Noble anytime soon. I’ve been trying to break into the big leagues and out of the small press swamp for over twenty years. The truth is most published writers are small press writers. And you know, they are also better writers than this kid will ever be. If that sounds like sour grapes, it isn’t. Just the truth.

But, I digress. The point I’m trying to make is that there is a time and a place for criticism. I state quite clearly in my guidelines that “I am not your mommy, your English teacher or your coach. It is not my job to encourage you.” This statement is directed primarily at would-be writers like Michael precisely because that’s what they seek when they submit work — a validation of the opinion of someone whose job it is to encourage him. This kid, though he needed to be soundly criticized (mocked even) was not emotionally prepared to hear what I would have said. He is obviously caught up in the dream of being a writer rather than the reality — which has nothing to do with his talent. Even if he had talent, his unreasonable expectations would hinder him from developing it. As such, neither of us had anything to gain from my point of view.

So when is it okay for an editor to critique a writer’s work?

If a writer specifically asks for criticism in his cover letter, he is fair game for your comments. The first thing you have to ask is, “Do I really have time to spend thinking about this person’s work?” If you are getting tons of submissions and also have another job, family. etc. you probably don’t have the luxury of wasting time on one particular writer.

If you do have the time and feel the writer is earnest enough, go right ahead. But, in doing so, don’t powder his rear-end. Be honest. If there is something positive to be said about his writing say it, but don’t gloss over the bad and the ugly. Tell it like it is. Writer’s hear what they want to hear. If you say something positive and don’t fully articulate the negative aspects, he simply won’t get the message and will ignore the criticism.

Also, speaking from my own experience, never waste your time on a self-important hack with delusions of greatness. He will inevitably respond hatefully. I’ve personally gotten death threats from such people. Instead of a club, go for the quick kill of the form rejection slip. Of course, sometimes they respond hatefully to form rejections as well, so you may be screwed either way.