Diary of a Mad Editor

Maybe “Huey” has a point about form email rejections. Just received a form email rejection from the New Yorker that makes my form rejection email message seem like an invitation to Thanksgiving Dinner by comparison. Not that I am New Yorker material, but that story was the closest thing I’d to a New Yorker piece or, at least, my most Carveresque effort. If I sound a little bummed — I’m not. Just a little desperate. Last time I checked, NY paid something like $5000 for a story. Being as I owe everybody these days and I only have my stories and my blood left to sell (and I need my blood) . . . Ah well, it was a long shot, anyway. Still, I am nostalgic for the old days when the New Yorker would at least send a form rejection on real quality paper with the New Yorker letterhead and a real ink signature. Back then one came away from the experience feeling as if a real human being read the submission.

Hi j.,

You just sent me four(4) letters of rejection, using the exact
same words and phrasings.

I would think that anyone dealing with poetry would have
more than ringy-ding verse at his disposal.

Perhaps a better familiarity with the language might help!

—huey—

Well, far be it for me to challenge a guy who is unembarrassed to call himself “Huey”, but who the hell does this guy think he is?

Yes, I rejected his work. Yes, I deliberately sent four identical form rejection replies to four individual poems. Why did I reject his work? Easy. His poems were quite odious, each one worse than the last. Why did I choose a form rejection as opposed to something more personal and constructive? I didn’t feel that “Huey” would appreciate the effort and preferred to use my time more wisely. Why did I send four individual copies of the same rejection note? “Huey” had sent four individual emails. Now, I would normally send one blanket rejection to cover all of the poems (the last time “Huey” had submitted 10 poems in 10 individual emails and I certainly wasn’t going to reply ten times), but I figured sending him four copies of the same rejection was the surest way to rid myself of him.

So far, so good!

Welcome to the first installment of my new blog. Well . . . it’s not entirely new as I have moved back installments of the old Diary of a Mad Editor column here. Lest you be confused by some of the timestamps, it’s because the column began on the old Themestream website in 2000 and has moved around a lot in the intervening years (including pitstops on Suite 101 and various electronic newsletters) before ending up here.

In truth, I should have had this thing up and running a year ago but, as with so many things connected to Asterius Press, it just got away from me. The WordPress files have been sitting on my computer for months unopened. I have no real excuse for this other than my own laziness

In any event, sink or swim, I’m going to give blogging a whirl. Until next time,

best and later,

JCE