Diary of a Mad Editor

So, the other day, a submission pops-up in my e-mail — a poem about masturbation. Okay, nothing wrong with that — I’ve even written one or two of those poems, myself. But, the woman didn’t really care about whether her poem was good or not; she was just trying to get a rise out of me. The poem wasn’t all that good as a matter of fact. I critiqued it and made suggestions about how she might fix it. So, today upon returning from work I open my e-mail and there’s a reply from the woman in which she states that she didn’t want my input and has no intention of changing her poem. (sigh) Why do “poets” who have no real interest in having their work evaluated submit poetry anyway? If you are not serious about improving your work or having it published why would you waste an editor’s time? Why would you waste your time? It’s absurd. Having a hobby is fine and poetry as a hobby is better than many hobbies one might choose, but if that’s all it is then the creative act, itself, is reduced to a form of masturbation. Again, nothing wrong with that – except when you invite an audience to witness the spectacle then get bent out of shape when the crowd doesn’t cheer.

If any of you good people out there fall into the above category listen to me now:

An editor — any editor – evaluates manuscripts for the sole purpose of finding good material to showcase. The editor doesn’t care about your personal feelings or mental health issues. He’s not running an encounter group for dysfunctional wannabe poets (although, it often seems like it and probably should start billing by the hour). Often he has to reject good manuscripts along with the bad simply because he doesn’t have space for them. So it stands to reason, if you submit work that is not top shelf, it will very likely be rejected. Your work will be judged and it will be dismissed. Ta-ta, bye now, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Understand? Now, if that editor actually takes the time to give you a little constructive feedback, it’s a positive sign. It is not a good idea to reply with a comment like “these are my personal fucking feelings and I’m not changing them for anybody.” In fact, if you have to reply at all, a polite “thank you” would suffice.